Saturday, January 17, 2009

Phil is another day older

Phil is still here. He still communicates with us but sleeps most of the time. He says that he has no pain and he is comfortable. He rarely talks, maybe one sentence a day. He uses all his energy to breath.

A few days ago I thought he was as thin as he could get but he has exceeded all my expectations. He is nothing but a skeleton with skin. His eyes are sunken in and he looks terrible. However, every day I tell him he looks great because I know how saddened he was when he would look at himself and see how thin he was getting. I am glad that he no longer looks at his arms and I would never give him a mirror. Cancer can be so cruel. I just want to hold his hand and keep him close to me.

It is getting late now and I am tired. I will move his bed close to mine and hold his hand as I fall asleep. I will pray that tomorrow he will be gone, because I know that is what needs to be.

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