What's in Phil's head?

Well, yesterday my dad had a follow-up appointment with Dr. Ritch. He also saw Mary Jo, the psychiatric nurse practitioner. Although physically my dad is feeling fairly well, psychologically he has been extremely depressed. He has been taking an antidepressant medication since he was initially diagnosed. However, following each episode of vomiting, my dad became physically weaker and psychologically more depressed.

Because the symptoms of depression are similar to the symptoms of a brain tumor, an MRI of the brain was suggested to rule out the possibility of a tumor.

As with many well laid plans, this didn't work out. The recently placed stent is stainless steel. Because an MRI scanner uses a large magnet, the magnet could move a newly placed stent like my dad's. (After time, my dad's body will grow around the stent and secure it in place.) So, for now a CT scan of my dad's head was done instead.

The results should be available soon. This scan was done simply as a precaution, so Mary Jo knows that what she is treating is depression.

Also, Dr. Ritch restarted the chemotherapy on Thursday. My dad is back on the biweekly schedule.

My kids and I were able to spend almost half of the last two weeks in Door County with my parents. In two separate trips we were able to enjoy the changing weather of fall in Wisconsin. For the first trip we were joined by Mark and Michael along with many, many other family and friends.

The kids and I enjoyed the time in Door County. The house in Door County sits on 14.5 acres of wooded land. Before the house was built, a tree house was constructed there. Rhys, Muriel and Kyle enjoyed playing in the tree house, hiking the trails and building with Legos while they were there. I played with the kids and our dog, talked to my mom and worked on my latest knitting projects.

It was relaxing to be there, but I was saddened to see my dad so hopeless. I know there is so much more he could share with us. It is not time for him to go yet. When he dies, he will take with him stories and knowledge that will be missed. We can't possible collect all of this information from him. When I want to know about the history of Milwaukee, I will miss him. When I can't remember a detail from my childhood, I will miss him. When I have a question about something he worked on in my house, I will miss him. When I wonder about my paternal ancestors, I will miss him.

I don't want to sit for hours and extract information from him. I wouldn't remember it anyway. I simply want to enjoy the time we have left together. Hopefully, he will feel better soon. I know he will die, but for now I want us to get back to living each day as fully as we can. We don't know how much time is left.